the taste, the touch, the way we love
by stillifall
Summary: Harry and Allie Make Donuts Part one: "I forgot the yeast!" Bon Appetit • 2.5M view • 3 days ago (aka the bon appetit au no one asked for)
1. Chapter 1

**i love bon appetit. that's all this is. **

* * *

Lying on your chest, in my party dress

* * *

There are two things that Cassandra is really bad at. The first is letting other people be in charge. She needs to be the leader, and she's really amazing at being one. And though that's fine most of the time, sometimes, like when she's at school and constantly interrupting a teacher, or really in any position where she's not the number one, it can problem, but she's also really amazing at taking charge, so usually it works out just fine. The second thing she's complete shit at is cooking. And baking. Pretty much anything that involves food.

So that's where Allie comes in. Would she like to bake so much if Cassandra wasn't complete shit at it? Maybe not. But Allie good at it, at making food, and baking pastries, and coming up with recipes. In high school, she spends an entire year perfecting a macaron recipe, and her freshman year of college, she impresses her entire floor with chocolate chip cookies that are just to die for .

And maybe that all annoys Cassandra a little, and maybe that annoyance prompts Allie to move to France and study under some of the best pastry chefs in the world. She graduates from culinary school while Cassandra continues to mix up salt and sugar. It feels fucking great.

Then somehow, she lands a job at the Bon Appetit test kitchen, her literal dream job. She gets to spend her days coming up with recipes, and baking things, and just having fun in a kitchen. She tries to imagine a better situation than this, and doesn't think once about the fact that Cassandra is already a partner at a top tier law firm in the city. She's living her dream, and her sister's living her dream, and everything is great.

* * *

Or maybe everything is not so great.

Allie is currently five minutes late to the first day of her dream job. Fuck New York traffic. Fuck the subway system. Fuck this stupid cities stupid modes of transportation.

And is it her fault? Sort of.

Actually no, it's all her roommates fault for telling her that the subway system was calm, and easy to handle.

"This is all you're fault," Allie tells Elle while she run-walks to the Bon Appetit building. The phone is pressed up against her ear, and if she wasn't so incredibly nervous, she wouldn't even be calling Elle; she just wants to hear a familiar voice tell her that everything will be fine.

"No," Elle says, and Allie can just about hear the eye roll in her voice. "This is your fault for not being able to understand sarcasm."

Allie sighs rather loudly, and pulls open the door to the building. "Just wish me luck... Do you think I still get severance if they fired me before I even worked?"

Elle lets out a little snort. "They won't fire you, promise. Everything's gonna go fine."

So now Allie's tapping her foot rather loudly in the elevator. The person next to her won't stop staring, and she keeps wishing she had a watch so she could dramatically check the time. And then there she goes, the second the elevator door open she's out like a cannon, running towards the test kitchen at full speed.

"I am so, so sorry," she says the second she spots her supervisor, Grizz. He's this tall dude, probably over six foot. Allie is painfully jealous of him, because up until her last year of middle school, her dream was to be six foot three.

There's a guy standing next to Grizz who she swears is laughing at her. He's not even trying to cover it up. He's laughing and shaking his head and laughing some more.

"The subway is just crazy, and my roommate lied to me and said it wasn't and-"

"It's fine, Allie," Grizz says, and she lets out a rather loud sigh of relief. The guy standing next to Grizz is still laughing. She doesn't think she has enough authority yet to glare at him. "I guess we can start the tour now."

The Guy, moves to stand next to her. "I'm Harry Bingham," he introduces, holding out his hand for her to shake. "The one who wasn't late."

She forces a smile onto her face. "Allie Pressman."

He smirks at her 'cause of course he's one of those assholes who smirk all the time. "Is being late on the first day just you're thing Pressman?"

She takes a deep breath, because they haven't even started the tour yet and here she is wondering if she should've taken that job with Tasty .

"Yep, it's my thing," she deadpans, and his smirk stays firmly in place.

Grizz laughs at them. "Come on you two, let's meet everyone."

* * *

Here's who everyone is.

Helena Wu, this wonderful, amazing, wonderful person who makes really good food, and tells people insightful things, and laughed while Allie told her tale of getting lost in the New York underground.

Will LeClair who glared at Harry for some reason (why, Allie just can't remember, she was just so happy to see someone else who didn't like Harry).

Becca Gelb, who's in charge of all the camera work and photography for videos. She seems to tell everything exactly as it is, and Allie loves that.

Gwen something (Allie can't remember her last name to save her life. She blames Harry for telling that stupid joke about the pasta maker that she laughed at instead of listening to the introduction). Allie really wants to be her friend, because, from what she's heard, she makes a lot of pasta, and Allie really likes pasta.

Gordie, who's supposedly some sort of genius with this crazy good palette. She also doesn't know his last name, but that's mostly because he seems more like a first name only type of guy.

Bean, a super sweet girl who's making turkey when they come by. "At least you two aren't fans of deep fried turkey. My boyfriend almost burned down the house when he tried to make it for Thanksgiving." She lets the two of them try a bit of the turkey (for an upcoming Thanksgiving video) and Allie decides immediately decides that she likes her.

A bunch of other people whose names Allie and Harry never get. Along the tour, a lot of people kind of just wave in their direction as they walk by. Harry still somehow finds a way to charm just about everyone, and Allie sometimes can't help but feel a little like a plastic bag floating behind him. Still, she only thinks about Tasty once, and it's to wonder what type of snacks Buzzfeed's break room has.

Harry Bingham, her new, infuriatingly charming and also funny (literally the best of both worlds. Has she mentioned yet that he's also hot, because Harry Bingham is very hot) co-worker. Somehow, he's set up to be the one who she works with the most at this place seeing as they just started on the same day, and will be doing pretty much the same things. She's not excited, yet, at the same time, she not not excited either. She's neutral. She's Switzerland.

* * *

"Elle, he's too funny for me to hate him. Like, I don't think it's possible," Allie whines, slouching into the couch and making a face at the TV. Gilmore Girls is playing because that's what she watches when she's feeling too much like an adult. First day's of work make her feel like an adult.

Elle rolls her eyes. "And let me guess, he's hot too."

"Ugh Elle, stop making fun of me. I brought up that he was hot once, okay? It's a necessary detail."

"You brought it up three times, actually, and no, it is not a necessary detail, though you should be thankful that he's not ugly."

"If he has any say I'll be stuck being known as the new girl who got lost on the subway for the rest of my time at Bon Appetit."

Elle sighs rather loudly, moving to turn up the volume on the TV. "You need to stop talking about this, okay. No one's even going to remember that you got lost underground come tomorrow, okay? Now shut up, and watch Gilmore Girls with me."

Allie sinks a little further into the couch. "Harry'll remember," she grumbles, and Elle throws a pillow at her.

"Shut up."

* * *

**Six Months Later**

* * *

**Harry and Allie Make Donuts Part one: "I forgot the yeast!" | Bon Appetit**

Bon Appetit • 2.5M view • 3 days ago

"Allie likes to tease me like a bully and no one in the test kitchen stands up for me," Harry says. Behind the camera, someone laughs.

Allie grins. "I make the test kitchen these donuts once a month and everyone's on my side. I wouldn't say I've bought my power, but it'd be wrong to not at least mention bribery."

Harry makes a face, and she nudges him in the side. That's his cue. "So today, we're making Allie's famous donut recipe, 'cause Allie is a loser who lost a bet and now she has to show me how to make her ultra secret donut recipe."

"Only it's not at all secret, and you can find it in this months Bon Appetit magazine."

Harry turns to her much too quickly for it to be scripted. "Wait, you put the recipe in the magazine and didn't tell me?" he asks, sounding much too hurt. She lets out a little snort.

"This idiot went to Harvard."

**StreamLover8/23** 1 day ago

I watch these videos just for the two of them (and Grizz, and Bean, and Will, and everyone else in this stupid test kitchen)

**View 2 replies v**

**Noodle Doodle** 7 hours ago

Nice to see someone other than Harry mentioning Harvard

**View 3 replies v**

**You'reAStar **12 hours ago

Like if you think Harry and Allie should have their own channel

**View 12 replies v**

* * *

It takes them three months to get over the childish rivalry they develop on the first week. After Harry's first viral video, Allie refuses to talk to him for a week. He brings it up at any and all possible moments, and she asks Elle if there's a way to block people in real life. (Though, when Allie passes him in instagram followers, he makes it his life's mission to beat her. That feels kinda good.)

After that, it takes them an additional two to become real, proper friends. They've been to one another's houses (to test recipes, okay? No funny business. At all. Just friends), and text each other cooking memes like complete nerds. Harry's her best friend at Bon Appetit , and she's his.

So, six months in when Harry decides he wants to host some random dinner party, Allie's invited. She knows about this stupid party he's throwing before he's even decided if he wants to throw it. She also knows exactly what she wants to bring, a plate of her homemade chocolate chip cookies, the one's Elle says she'll literally kill for that Harry has thus far refused to try just to spite her. (This idiot thinks his cookies are the best and she really really wants to prove him wrong.)

"Nice to see you, Pressman," he says to her when she arrives. She's out of breath from going up the two flights of stairs that it takes to reach his roof ( because of course he hosts his stupid little dinner party on his roof ), and he's smiling at her like he knows that this is the only cardio that she's gotten in all week.

"I brought you cookies."

"Thought I couldn't cook food myself?" he questions, but it's teasing. She rolls her eyes and he offers to take the platter from her, leading her towards the other dishes.

"Obviously. Bon Appetit doesn't need chefs, just pretty faces."

He grins at her, all light and easy, and she finds herself grinning back. "Glad to hear I'm a pretty face, Pressman." (She hates how much she likes it when he calls her Pressman.)

"Well I'm going to go say hi to people. Tell me what you think of the cookies; and be prepared for them to be better than yours. Wouldn't want you to go into shock or anything." She can tease too, she can smile with her eyes, and laugh, and make stupid jokes.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure to warn everyone before I eat one of your garbage cookies."

And there she goes making a face at him like a child, and there he goes making one right back. She wonders how long they'll stay like that, only then she's pulled away by Helena, and being told that she really needs to try the ricotta dumplings over and over.

(She turns back just once before letting Helena really pull her away. Harry's still smiling at her, and she shoots a smile back.)

* * *

She finds Will, her second most bestest friend (Harry's her best friend, no matter how hard she sometimes wishes she could go just a little easier on herself and hang out only with Will) at Bon Appetit , on the corner of the roof with a plate half full of food.

"Hey," she calls out to him, grabbing herself a drink from a nearby table as she walks towards him.

He shoots her a smile, a sweet one that makes her smile back. "Hey Allie."

"You try one of my cookies yet? I'm trying to get the Bon Appetit staff to help me prove that mine are better than Harry's."

Will lets out a small chuckle (this sweet boy chuckles. She's literally swooning). "Do I get to throw my chocolate chip cookies into the ring? I include white chocolate chips and everything."

If it was anyone but Will, she'd make a face at the sound of someone ruining perfectly good chocolate chip cookies with white chocolate chips. If it was Harry, she'd have teased him mercilessly. She doesn't tease Will, though, just pretends to think while sipping her drink. "Nope, I don't think so. This is just between Harry and I."

He arches an eyebrow. "Just between you and Harry?" he repeats.

She rolls her eyes. "Well when you say it like that, it sounds sorta weird. We're just trying to settle who's officially the better cook." From the corner of her eye, she spots Harry holding up a cookie and waving at her from where the food sits. "I'll be right back. Promise you'll vote for my cookie?"

He smiles. "Of course."

And then she's gone, on a collision course with the one and only Harry Bingham who's grinning at her so wide and bright that she wonders if it hurts. Her smile has turned into a grin too, though, and she bets it's just as wide and just as bright. It doesn't hurt; she kind of loves it.

"So my cookie's better, right Bingham?"

He scrunches his face up. "Hmmmm, don't think so, Pressman."

"Well I-" A raindrop lands on her face. She doesn't finish her sentence. "Is it raining?"

Harry suddenly looks a little less casual. "It shouldn't be." Only now it's starting to really come down, and people are starting to notice. "We can move this into my apartment," he calls out to the group, and now everyone's moving towards the stairwell, leaving Harry and Allie with a large table full of food.

She's laughing, the rain coming down hard and fast. "We should get this inside," she says, moving to cover the food as best she can. Most of it is already in covered dishes, so it's not becoming completely drenched, but, at this rate, she doesn't see the party coming back outside.

He's laughing too, swiping the water off of his face as he grabs a tray of something and runs towards the stairwell. She follows, her vision slightly blurry, smile still firmly in place.

"You owe me," she shouts at him as she runs back towards the food table for a second trip.

He laughs some more, loud and bright (just like his stupid grin). "Maybe I'll give you my chocolate chip cookie recipe."

In the end, she's sitting with him in his apartment, both wrapped in fluffy towels as Grizz tells them that they'll probably both be out with colds all of next week. Harry says that a cold's never stopped him before, and Allie rolls her eyes and brings up the time he threw a tantrum after she had the last cough drop.

Will and his white chocolate chip cookies don't cross her mind again that night. Actually, she's pretty sure that he left after it started raining, not that she noticed.

* * *

Here's how they became friends.

She runs into him on the subway going into their second day of work. Like, she literally runs into him. It's kind of embarrassing actually.

"Gosh, I'm so- Harry?" she sighs. This is just her luck, running into that stupid coworker who's kind of an ass but also kind of cute on the subway way too early in the morning.

He sighs rather dramatically back. "Don't tell me you live around here, Pressman."

"Wish I could."

And although they could try to avoid it, a travel buddy isn't all that bad, so more often than not, they end up standing near one another. Sometimes they'll talk (about literally anything. Both are crazy talkative people), sometimes they'll just ride in silence, but if they spot the other, they stand together, because that's just what they do.

Their work stations are right next to one another. He's always right there, making some sort of food thing that smells and looks crazy good, or talking to the camera. He has the station behind her, so he'll usually end up in her videos. He likes to make faces at the camera while she's talking. At first, it used to ruin takes, but now they just sort of run with it; the viewers love it for some reason.

She starts feeling like she couldn't avoid Harry if she wanted to (and somehow, as the days turn into weeks, she finds herself not wanting to more and more).

They get stuck workshopping recipes. Usually, this just means they have to work together a little more, but sometimes it involves outside of work interaction.

Harry Bingham is the first person from Bon Appetit to see her apartment.

"Your fridge is a mess," he comments, opening the door and staring inside. She hasn't even offered him a drink yet. She does not at all feel bad.

"I bet your fridge is a mess too."

"Is not."

"Is too."

From the couch, she hears Elle sigh. She didn't even know that Elle was home.

"I'm guessing you're Harry Bingham," she says. She doesn't even stand up. Allie has never loved her more.

"The one and only."

"Well it's very nice to meet you, but if you two could stop arguing, or at least keep it down, that'd be much appreciated."

Allie's also the first one from Bon Appetit to see his apartment. It's weird how quickly she gets used to it, how quickly she finds out where he keeps his good plates, and how he likes to load the dishwasher. (It's just as quickly as she gets used to him, all at once and all of the sudden. One day him being next to her becomes normal; she's pretty sure she's alright with that.)

* * *

She doesn't mean to have sex with Harry Bingham. It's just that he kissed her while she was helping do the dishes from his stupid dinner party (the one with the rain that she practically helped save by bringing in the food), and then one thing lead to another, and yeah, she had sex with Harry Bingham.

"So we're still friends, right?" she asks, because she's in his bed, and he's playing with her hair, and all of this feels decidedly not something two just friends would do.

"Of course," he says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. He's still playing with her hair. She kinda likes it.

"Ok cool. Just making sure."

And she doesn't mean to have sex with Harry the second time either.

This is how it happens: a week later, she's back at his place to help recipe test for a video. (Neither have brought up that one weird night from the dinner party, because why would they do that when they are just friends .) Harry says something about the kitchen being really warm (which is totally is), and she jokes that he should take his shirt off. He does, because why not, and then she does too, also because why not, and then one thing once again leads to another and suddenly the fire alarm is going off while they're having sex because of a tray of cookies left in the oven.

The third time happens three days after that, but with a tray of toffee chunk cookies at her apartment (Elle's at some work thing), and suddenly, they're spending their weekends together doing stuff not related to work (like seeing movies, and going out to dinner, and making out in the backseat of cabs while driving back from fancy restaurants).

Only they're not in a relationship. They're just friends. Friends with benefits. They're friends with benefits. Shit.


	2. Chapter 2

_Touch me anywhere 'cause I'm your baby_

* * *

**Allie Makes a Chocolate Souffle | From the Test Kitchen | Bon Appetit **

_Bon Appetit _• _1.2M view • 5 days ago_

"Harry likes to stand in the back and judge me like he can do all of this better," she pauses to turn around and glare at him. He makes a face back. "He can't, by the way, no matter what he tells you."

"Yes I can," Harry shouts back. He's still standing at his station. The camera slowly zooms in on him. He grins at it. "I went to Harvard."

"I swear to god, Harry, if you bring that up one more time…"

**LarryThe Platypus** 2 days ago If all _Bon Appetit was _Harry and Allie flirting, I'd be happy. **View 2 replies v**

**Harry Bingham** ? 5 days ago Allie made me eat the ugly souffle. **View 154 replies v**

**Oofsies** 3 days ago I wish Harvard offered classes on baking chocolate souffles (and that Allie taught them, just to spite Harry). **View 9 replies v**

* * *

After the first time waking up beside him in his bed, a warm arm wrapped around her and light peeking through the blinds, she wonders if this is how their friendship ends, three months in with sex after a dinner party.

He makes her coffee that morning.

"You want any vanilla syrup?" he asks, mixing some into his own.

She makes a face. "No thanks." (but adds his coffee order to the list of things she now knows about him, right next to a strange love for plaid throw blankets, and a hatred of fig bars.)

Neither mention the night before. They ride the subway into work, pressed close together in the seats, knees touching and hands brushing.

It's normal.

Harry films a video for ricotta dumplings, Allie's the first person to taste test, everything's fine.

Falling asleep that night (in her own bed), she doesn't wonder if that is how it ends for them. (She does wonder if that's how it starts, though. Them at his apartment making out while doing the dishes. Them in his bed, light peeking through the blinds. Them in his bathroom, morning routines side by side. Maybe she shouldn't wonder that, but she does.)

* * *

In the mornings, they leave just a little earlier and pick up coffee and breakfast before work. With Harry, things always become routine so quickly; her staying over at his apartment, how they do the dishes, the ride to work. It's only new for a second when she's with him, and then it's normal.

It's so normal that people start to notice that it's normal. They start asking stupid questions, and seeing little things.

"Nah, Allie likes blueberry muffins. Poppyseeds give her a headache," Harry says once in a video. People notice that.

"Harry drinks his coffee black like some sort of sociopath," she says, standing right next to him.

He bumps her with his elbow (people notice that). "If you can't handle plain coffee, then you don't deserve the caffeine."

"You add a shot of vanilla!" People notice that.

But the internet has always been a little bit weird and scary to Allie. She didn't take the job at _Bon Appetit _to make Youtube videos, she took it because she loves to cook, because she loves food. All the people saying things, telling her that _her and Harry would be soooo cute together _don't really matter.

* * *

Okay, so maybe they matter a little.

"This comment literally says that we're having sex," she says, staring at it and making a face.

Harry rolls his eyes. "We are having sex."

"Well they don't need to know that."

Harry hands her a bowl of the miso soup he made. She continues talking. "This is all your fault for flirting with me in that cooking skills video."

They move to sit at the counter, stools scooted so close that their knees are pressed together; Allie doesn't mind. "It's not like you didn't flirt back," he says, blowing on a spoonful of soup.

She scrunches up her face and he laughs at her. "Still your fault."

* * *

**Pastry Chef Makes Snickers | Gourmet Makes | Bon Appetit**

_Bon Appetit _• _3.5M view • 2 days ago_

"Fun fact," Allie says, looking up from the bowl of not tempered chocolate in front of her and frowning. "But I guess I'm really bad at tempering chocolate. Who knew?"

In the background, Harry grins. "I knew," he calls out. She swivels around to glare at him. The camera zooms in on the two of them.

"Don't you have anything better to do?"

"Then watch you fail at tempering chocolate? Nope." He walks towards her station. "Tempering chocolate is easy, by the way."

Allie looks a little like she's about to kill him. From behind the camera, Becca snorts. "If it's so easy, Bingham, why don't you do it?"

He shrugs. "Okay, sure."

Allie watches him the entire time, eyes narrowed. He keeps shooting her little grins, and you can tell Allie is trying so hard not to smile back. Harry, of course (he went to Harvard; he's pretty much perfect), gets it right the first try. Allie looks a little like she's going to kill him.

"Told you. Easy."

Allie leaves the frame.

"So I guess this is my show now, seeing as I'm the only one who can accomplish anything around here."

Off in the distance, Allie can be heard saying "Fuck you."

Gourmet Makes is pretty much just the Allie and Harry show. (Absolutely no one is upset about that.)

**PumpkinSpiceDonuts** 2 days ago Allie when Harry tempered chocolate was a complete mood. **View 9 replies v**

**imightfailapush **1 day ago *Pastry Chefs* **View 3 replies v**

**weain'tgottaridesolo **5 hours ago I'd kill for an entire video of Harry watching Allie cook. **pancakeseason **12 hours ago Lol, you mean literally every one of Allie's recipe videos. That boy is whipped.

* * *

**Harry Makes Bucatini | From the Test Kitchen | Bon Appetit**

_Bon Appetit _• _1.2M view • 4 days ago_

"Allie hates this type of noodle because they're harder to," he takes a deep breath before saying the next word, as though it's below him. "Slurp."

Allie's standing behind him at a nearby work station. She's trying to temper chocolate. Trying being the key word. "Says the guy who got sauce down his shirt the last time he ate bucatini."

Harry's attention is turned from the camera to Allie. "Stop trying to ruin my recipe, Pressman."

"Stop trying to force me to eat your stupid pasta, Bingham."

Harry turns back towards the camera. "This is why we are not in a relationship."

Allie can be heard sniggering in the background. Harry grins.

* * *

From what Harry's told her, Kelly, his ex-girlfriend, is pretty cool. Maybe, if they weren't _just friends _, she'd be a little worried. But they are just friends. And Kelly's engaged. (To Becca, which is kind of insane to her because she sees Becca at least once a week and had not heard about this. Maybe Allie's a little oblivious. Or a lot. Probably a lot. She didn't know that Becca had a daughter until about a month into summer when the same little girl had been at the test kitchen everyday.)

"He wants me to go to his ex-girlfriend's wedding with him," Allie says to Elle. They're eating ice cream on the couch. Organic ice cream because she works at _Bon Appetit _and can't be seen with Dreyers.

Elle snorts. "Course he did," she pauses to take a bite of her ice cream, some crazy mix of a million flavors. Allie's eating mint chocolate chip and trying to not think about how it's also Harry's favorite flavor. "You gonna go with him?"

"I mean, probably." Elle rolls her eyes. Allie continues. "It's Becca's wedding too; Eden's the flower girl. I was going to go anyway, so I might as well save on the room."

"Ooh, they were roommates."

Allie rolls her eyes. "I wish you could make it."

"Why? So I could get stuck outside the room while you two have sex?"

"It was one time!

"Well, you two are gonna have lots of fun on whatever small Caribbean island they're having the wedding on, and I'll be here living it up at work."

Sometimes, when Allie doesn't think, she almost believes that her and Harry are in some sort of relationship. People in a relationship go to old friends weddings together. People in a relationship spend the night at each other's places, and go out to dinner, and miss the other when they're apart. Sometimes, she wonders when all of this will end, when Harry'll meet someone new, someone who he's willing to settle down with; when she'll meet someone new, someone she's willing to commit to. She can't see the end, not even when she squints at the distance, when she tries to imagine her future, but it doesn't seem right to assume that Harry will always be there.

Yet, when he invites her to his ex-girlfriends destination wedding, she doesn't think twice before saying yes.

* * *

They take a cab to the airport together.

"I couldn't find my neck pillow," Allie complains.

Harry squints at her (she thinks. He has this stupid pair of sunglasses on. It's seven in the morning; she assumes he's hungover, though that makes no sense seeing as she spent last night with him). "You own a neck pillow?"

She gapes at him. "You, Harry Bingham, the guy who has two toasters in case one randomly breaks, do not own a neck pillow. I don't believe that."

He shrugs. "You were just gonna be my neck pillow, Pressman."

"That was my plan too you asshole."

He's laughing at her in the back of the cab. She doesn't even notice that he's holding her hand until he squeezes it before letting go as they exit the car. She wonders when her hand in his started to feel so incredibly normal.

They hold hands in the airport too, rollie bags trailing behind them as they try to find a neck pillow under twenty dollars ("I have an airport budget, Harry, so you're gonna have to buy it." "I'm not buying you a neck pillow so you can spend twenty dollars on overpriced snacks." "And to think I was going to share my trail mix with you.").

Her head rests on his shoulder during the flight. They share a pair of earbuds, and play an in-flight movie in the background as they sleep. Her hand is in his. He'll squeeze it every once in a while; he seems to like to do that. Sometimes, he'll rub his thumb against her wrist. It makes her think that he's reminding her he's there, or maybe he's reminding himself.

* * *

They get to Hawaii late at night. The air is still warm, and, at least near the airport, the street lights are bright and comforting. She feels like shit from the flight, over twelve hours of upright sleeping and stale air, but the freshness of Hawaii, the ocean breeze and the quiet, is nice.

At the hotel, they check into a room with only one bed. Neither say anything because there isn't anything to say. Allie can't imagine not sleeping next to him, at least not here. She wonders, only fleetingly though, what that exactly means. (She doesn't come up with an answer.)

By now, she knows that Harry likes to sleep close to her, that he likes constant contact. She's used to the feeling of his breath on her skin, of his arm wrapped around her. She even likes it. He's probably used to her light snoring, to her head against his chest, and how her feet are always just a little cold.

It's been six months since they slept together after his dinner party. He's her best friend. (She's never had a best friend who she has sex with regularly, a best friend who takes her to his ex's wedding, a best friend who holds her hand in the back of taxis and flirts with her constantly. She likes it, though, likes how familiar it's becoming. _She likes him _.)

* * *

Just before noon, on their first day there, Allie meets Harry's ex. They're on the beach. Allie has a swimsuit on under her dress and she plans on swimming in the ocean the first chance she gets. Harry keeps taking pictures of everything on his phone Sometimes, he'll make her stop and smile for them, but most of the time, it's candid stuff, or pictures of everything around them.

"So you're Allie," Kelly says with a smile. Kelly, to Allie at least, seems like the type of person who smiles a lot. Becca is too, once you get to know her. In her head, Allie makes a list of all the reasons why they work together; that smiling bit's the first reason.

"The one and only."

"Nice to meet you. Harry's told me so much about you. Becca too."

Allie smiles back, mirrors Kelly's features and glances over to Harry. He's right beside her. She's not at all surprised. (She doesn't think once about the implications of that. She only thinks of his arm around her, and the smell of the ocean.) "Good things I hope."

Harry laughs from beside her. "Nah, Pressman, all bad things, like how you were late to your first day of work because you couldn't figure out the subway system."

"Shut up, Harry." She nudges him with her elbow. He grins even wider.

"Kelly's opinion doesn't matter much though seeing as she works for," Harry shudders. " _Tasty _."

And now Kelly's laughing too, glancing, just once, at Harry's arm wrapped around Allie's shoulder an the way Allie leans into it. "Fuck you, Harry."

Someone shouts for Kelly, and she turns her attention away from Harry and Allie. "I'll talk to you guys later, yeah? It was great finally meeting you, Allie!"

"It was great meeting you too, Kelly!"

Harry's got a hold on her arm, pulling her towards the beach, towards sand and crashing waves and a light breeze, as Kelly walks away from them.

"Let's swim," he says, like he's a kid who's never seen the ocean before. She rolls her eyes.

"You're just trying to get me to strip."

"Well obviously."

She grins at him, and suddenly there they are, running towards the ocean. Somewhere along the way, Allie loses her dress, and Harry, his shirt. Someone will take pictures of the two of them, maybe Becca, probably Grizz. They get sent to Harry later. He posts them on his instagram. When she sees them, she smiles so wide it hurts.

(There's saltwater in her eyes, hair, and mouth. Harry's leaning back in it, floating. She is too. The water is blue, and warm, and the sky is clear. Sometimes his hand will grab hers just to pull her closer. When she thinks of calm, of happiness, and vacation, she'll think of this moment.)

* * *

"How's the wedding?" Elle asks, face a little distorted by her laptop camera. Allie grins, wide and bright and happy, and shifts how she's sitting on the bed.

"Really nice. It's so sunny here, Elle, not at all like New York. I keep forgetting that it's nearly November."

Elle scrunches her face up. "You don't need to rub it in."

Allie shrugs. "Can't help it; I'm really just living the life."

Elle lets out a little snort. "Where's Harry at? I want to tell him that his chocolate chip cookies are better than yours."

"Haha, very funny. He's in the shower right now."

Elle raises her eyebrows. "And you're not in there with him?"

Allie makes a face. "You're really just on a role with these jokes today, aren't you."

"What can I say, I'm just a natural born comedian."

The bathroom door swings open and Harry comes out wearing only a towel. Elle rolls her eyes. "You're showing a lot of skin there, Bingham."

Harry waves. "Hey Elle."

"Well I'm gonna get going before I have to see something I don't wanna see. I'll talk to you later, Allie."

"Talk to you later, Elle."

Harry hits the button to hang up the phone before Allie gets a chance too, hovering over her.

She smiles over up him. "You really are showing a lot of skin, Bingham."

"You gotta a problem with that, Pressman?"

She bites her lip and shakes her head at him. "Not at all."

* * *

She doesn't mean to overhear the conversation.

Everyone's at dinner. Dinner's actually just about finished. Her and Harry had just ordered a chocolate lava cake for dessert when she goes off to the bathroom. And then, when she's returning, as she approaches the table, she hears them talking.

"You two make a really cute couple." She hears Kelly say. "How long have you two been dating?"

And that makes Allie wonder (again) if they even are going out. Once upon a time, they had sex after a rooftop dinner party got rained on. Now they go to weddings together. There was no in-between moment, no moment where they explicitly said that they were more than friends.

She fully expects him to laugh Kelly off, for him to shake his head and say, "Oh no, we're not dating." She's ready for him to say that; if she were in his situation, that's what'd she'd say. If Cassandra were to call her up and ask if she was dating anyone, she would most definitely not mention Harry.

So she slows down her walk, sort of hides behind some decorative plants (okay, so maybe she did mean to overhear the conversation, but just a little). "About six months now."

_Fuck. _Harry thinks they're in a relationship. _Are they in a relationship? _It's one thing to wonder about it, for it to be entirely one-sided in that way. It's an entirely different thing when the person who you've supposedly been in a relationship with for months has potentially known that for months when you're just now hearing about it. _And what the fuck happened to friends with benefits? _

But she returns to the table, smiles when Harry nudges her, and shares the chocolate lava cake with him. She doesn't want to think too much about it, because what they have is good, and thinking will just ruin it.

* * *

"What are we Harry?" she asks when they're back in their hotel room. It's nearing midnight. The lights are all off. Harry yawns.

"What?"

They're best friends, all for honesty and transparency so she comes right out and says, "I heard you talking to Kelly back at the restaurant and- six months- I just didn't even realise…"

The lamp on Harry's side of the bed switches on. "Allie-"

"I just don't want to ruin anything, you know? This has been really good to us, whatever it is, and I'm just afraid that the second we go trying to label it, go trying treat it like something it's not or isn't, it'll just get messed up." She pauses, looking over at him. He looks worried, scared even. She hates that. "You're my best friend, Harry. I don't wanna ruin that."

There's no silence before his words. He jumps right into them. "You're my best friend too, Allie. You're right; we shouldn't..."

He never finishes his sentence. Still, she falls asleep with her head on his chest. Allie wonders if this is how it ends for them, with her being too scared to let something change.

In the morning, his arms are still wrapped around her. Neither mention the talk from the night before. She doesn't think again about their end again.

* * *

Hawaii ends just as quickly as it begins.

Kelly and Becca get married in a rush of sunlight and laughter. Eden sits with Allie and Harry at dinner, and she decides that one day she wants kids too (Harry's face is in that future. That scares the absolute shit out of her. She doesn't mention it to him).

They lounge on the beach, and return to their hotel room slightly burnt and covered in sand. Her hair is a tangled mess, but Harry's looks good. She'd stay here if she could, and he'd stay here with her. It'd be perfect.

On the flight home, they move the armrest between them up and sleep the entire time. Harry buys a twenty dollar fuzzy blanket at the airport ("This is your Christmas gift this year, Pressman."), and they drape it over top them for the flight home. In the taxi, on the way to his apartment (she's spending the night there. She tells herself it's because that's the easiest way to go and not because she's starting to have a hard time not being near him), he holds her hand tight and they talk through video ideas.

She decides that the best part of the trip was the quiet, and being alone with just Harry, falling asleep beside him each night. And also the ocean, and the weather, and Kelly and Becca and everyone else.

(Back at his apartment, laying next to him in his bed, it almost doesn't feel like it's over yet.)

* * *

**HarryBingham posted a picture**

**HarryBingham** _hawaii. alliepressman got a really bad sunburn. wishing her a speedy recovery_

Comments:

**alliepressman:** thnx for caring, harry

**alliepressman**: but also wtf happened to you not posting that 3rd picture?

**HarryBingham:** you looked really cute in it. couldn't help myself

**Helena_Wu:** HarryBingham You guys are so cute. Glad you didn't drown in Hawaii. (ngl, everyone was a little worried)

**grizzzzzzzviser: **Nice pictures, Harry! (but maybe less of Allie next time. I'm not trying to say I'm more photogenic but…)


	3. Chapter 3

_We go fast, we go so fast, we don't move_

* * *

**Harry and Allie Make Macarons Part one: "This is all your fault!" | Bon Appetit**

_Bon Appetit • 2.5M view • 3 days ago_

Allie's staring at the camera, face blank. In the background, Harry can be seen tying his apron strings. He looks a little like he's about to turn around and ask Allie for help. She does not look like she'd help him.

"This was all Harry's idea."

He turns around to first stare at her and then the camera. "You love macarons!"

"When they're made by someone else! These things fucking suck to make."

Harry grins at the camera sheepishly. "Don't tell Allie," he says, leaning into the camera conspiratorially. "But I haven't made macarons since culinary school."

Allie rolls her eyes. "I wanted to work with Grizz on this, but he was busy."

Harry gasps, just loud and dramatic enough to make Allie almost smile. "You traitor!"

"This is going to be a really long series." She looks at Harry as she says that. He's looking at her too.

"I'm excited."

**FrankOceanDHL** 2 days ago Harry deciding to make macarons just because they're Allie's favorite will forever be a mood. **View 2 replies v**

**inever(sawyoucoming) **1 day ago Harry: *carefully measuring out everything and talking people through all of the steps* Allie: lol idgaf anymore **View 5 replies v**

**dearaplangusuck** 3 days ago Take a shot everytime Harry stares lovingly at Allie (or don't cause alcohol poisoning) 

* * *

**What Makes the Perfect Thanksgiving Meal? | Making Perfect: Thanksgiving - Prologue | Bon Appetit**

_Bon Appetit • 4.5M view • 5 days ago_

"I think my biggest fear is having to spend a Thanksgiving alone with miss _marshmallow-sweet- potatoes _over here." Harry says, nudging Allie with his elbow.

"Fuck you Harry, marshmallow sweet potato casserole is an iconic Thanksgiving dish."

The camera zooms in on Helena who rolls her eyes and mouths, "These two."

* * *

Will asks her out to lunch two weeks after they get back from Hawaii.

She says no.

"I'm sorry, it's just that I already have plans with Harry; we're checking out that new food truck- the vietnamese sandwich one- and I've been craving banh mi for forever and I even heard that they have thai iced tea and I haven't thai tea in so long, and-"

Will lets out a slight laugh. "Allie, it's fine. Maybe some other time?"

"Sure." She's not even looking at him when she says that. She's looking at Harry, who's standing near the elevator holding her coat (he always grabs her coat for her. It's nice). She smiles at him, and Will laughs again (less humor this time, though, more breath).

"I'll see you later, Allie."

"See you later."

Harry's laughing when she gets to the elevator. He holds out her coat to her and she makes a face at him.

"So Will's got a thing for you, huh?" he says, eyebrows raised. He's smiling though (always loud and bright), and she can't help but smile back.

"Shut up, Bingham."

"Who's gonna break it to him?"

She laughs. "Harry, shut up."

"Should we just kiss in front of him?"

"Oh my God, you really just don't shut up, do you?"

And then his lips are on her's, and she's still smiling (loud and bright). They'll walk hand in hand all the way to the food truck. He'll take pictures of her eating a banh mi and she'll demand he _deletes them immediately _(he doesn't).

(Later, when he posts it, she doesn't even care. She's happy.)

* * *

**Brie **_ BonAppetitHallie • 30 minutes ago_

Guys wtf have you seen this pictures of Harry and Allie walking around NYC together? Omg

**Adela Lang** _ 2 • 1 hour ago_

I swear i just saw Harry Bingham and Allie Pressman (from Bon Appetit) walking around New York. They were talking and laughing and laughing and looked really happy!

**Allison** _ Halliesreal • 10 minutes ago_

Fuck they're cute

* * *

**Will Makes Taco Pie | From the Test Kitchen | Bon Appetit**

_Bon Appetit • 1.1M views • 3 days ago_

"This is one of my favorite things to make just because of how versatile it is. I like to make it with a Frito crust but-" The camera pans from Will to Harry and Allie who are standing close near the stove. Allie throws her head back laughing and Harry smiles at her.

Will rolls his eyes. He's frowning. "I don't get why everyone is so obsessed with those two. I really just don't see it."

The camera cuts back to him. In the background, though fuzzy now, Allie and Harry can be seen still laughing. They're standing even closer now.

"Okay, so back to taco pie. There are three big ingredients…"

* * *

"Will's totally got a thing for you."

"Shut up, Harry."

"Not until you say it."

"You really need to get over this."

"Say it, Pressman."

"Shut up, Bingham."

* * *

Grizz and Harry are paired together to make the turkey for _Bon Appetit's _perfect Thanksgiving dinner video series. Neither of them know what to do.

So they call in Gordie who also doesn't know what to do.

And now they're all around Harry's dining room table trying to plan out the perfect way to cook a turkey, and Allie can't figure out if they'll notice if she spends the night at Harry's house.

"Grizz, I am very quickly running out of fuck. I hate turkey," Harry says, crumpling up a sheet of paper and throwing it on the ground. (His laptop is open and on the table; he's crumpling the paper just to be dramatic.) From beside him, Gordie puts his face in his hands and makes some sound between a cry and a groan.

"We're deep frying it!" Grizz shouts. Allie thinks that she could slip out if she really needed to, right here, right now.

"We are not deep frying it!"

If she stays any longer, if she falls asleep beside Harry wrapped up in that fuzzy blanket she brought over from her place last week, Gordie and Grizz will wonder what exactly is going on between them. (Because to the people at _Bon Appetit _, all her and Harry are are friends, too people who sometimes flirt a little.)

So she taps Harry's shoulder (his face is in his hands now too), and says, "I'm gonna get going. I'll see you guys at work tomorrow."

She leaves to a chorus of "Bye Allie"s and a slightly confused look on Harry's face. She walks home and falls asleep in her bed. Her fuzzy blanket (the one that smells a little like Harry now), isn't there, and she misses it (and him).

* * *

He meets her at her apartment the next morning.

"You didn't have to leave last night," he tells her, handing her a tea from the coffee shop down the block. It's still warm.

"Gordie and Grizz were there, it would've looked weird if I'd spent the night."

He shakes his head. He's not looking right at her, though; he's looking down at the ground, at his feet, then at a spot just above her ear.. "No it wouldn't have. You spend the night all the time."

She rolls her eyes. It's way too early for her to be dealing with this. "For all they know, we're just friends, and just friends don't casually sleep next to each other."

Harry looks a bit like he's going to interject, to say something about how they're not just friends, about how she shouldn't care so much what other people think, but he doesn't, he stays quiet. (She almost wishes he had said something, that they'd finally address the fact that this- whatever the fuck is going on between them- is starting to feel way more personal than just two friends who have sex sometimes.)

"If you don't feel comfortable spending the night, that's fine," he finally says. They're outside her building now. It's cold; she pulls her coat just a little bit tighter around her. "But just know that I'm cool with it."

"Okay."

They don't talk until they get into work. She kisses him in the elevator, and when he smiles at her, she thinks that they'll be just fine.

* * *

**Allie and Bean Try to Make the Perfect Thanksgiving Sides | Making Perfect: Thanksgiving Ep 4**

_Bon Appetit • 4.5M view • 5 days ago_

"Sides are obviously the most important part of Thanksgiving," Allie says, and Bean nods her head in agreement.

"Anyone who thinks that turkey, that dry, bland, downright boring tasting bird is the best part is wrong," Bean adds.

Allie nods too. She's trying very hard to stay serious and failing miserably. "And stupid."

In the background, Harry can be seen making a face at the camera. It zooms in on him "Hey," he calls out. "You're only saying that to be mean to me."

Allie and Bean pretend not to hear him.

"Once," Bean says, turning to Allie. "My boyfriend decided to deep fry a turkey and-"

"Wait," Allie interrupts. "Was it any good, though?"

"Oh it was delicious. Deep frying is definitely the way to go if you can pull it off. Anyway, he almost burned our house down by not defrosting the bird completely. He was literally about to put a frozen bird into a vat of hot oil."

Allie laughs. "He's lucky you're there then, huh. Harry and Grizz spent two days straight at Harry's place figuring out how the best way to cook the turkey. They pulled all nighters like college kids for literally no reason."

"Turkey's not fun."

From behind the camera Becca can be heard yelling, "You guys are not supposed to be talking about turkey!"

There's a brief silence as both Bean and Allie remember their assigned dish.

"Sides though," Allie turns back to the camera. "Are very fun."

Bean lets out a snort and Allie grins at the camera. "Who even needs turkey."

Becca groans. "Stop talking about turkey!"

**ughfinalzweek **3 days ago I think we all deserve to see footage of Harry and Grizz trying to figure out how to cook a turkey at 2 am. **View 3 replies v**

**Nananana** 2 days ago Bean and Allie is the combo I never knew I needed

**sourpathkids **4 days ago Becca constantly reminding them to focus on the sides is me during all group projects **View 3 replies v**

* * *

She doesn't become proper friends with Bean until after their Thanksgiving video together. She wishes she'd gotten closer to her sooner, because she's an amazing person, funny and smart and kind.

They get lunch together a week after they finish shooting the Thanksgiving sides video. Bean's boyfriend calls her fifteen minutes in. She takes the call outside. Allie watches her, a bit like a stalker, how her face lights up at certain moments, and how she smiles nearly the entire time. (Allie wonders, albeit briefly, if that's how she looks talking to Harry.)

"Sorry," Bean says when she gets back to the table. "Jason, my boyfriend, is in London right now for work and just wanted to tell me about this thing he found, it's like this weird pan, and he wants to bring it home but isn't sure if it'll fit in his suitcase, and he was just really excited about it."

"No, it's totally fine. I'll have to see this weird pan, though."

Bean smiles. "The second he gets back and call you up."

The food arrives and they talk about work. Bean mentions how much pressure there is on her to make another viral recipe, and Allie relates so so much.

"Sometimes I worry that if I don't get enough views or clicks or whatever the fuck they measure our success by, they'll fire me. Harry always has to calm me down, tell me not to think so much."

"You and Harry are good together," Bean says with a sort of certainty that makes Allie pause before correcting her. She still does correct her, though, with a practiced confidence. When it first started happening, people mistaking her and Harry for a couple, she would tell him about it. Now, though, she doesn't, because every time she he gets this look on his face like they need to talk about something. (She's afraid of talking to him and ruining a good thing. They've got a good thing going.)

* * *

They both go home for Thanksgiving. They drive together, both to Connecticut. Allie lives in Greenwich, while Harry lives in some small town about 20 minutes west.

Neither own a car, so they rent one. When the agency mistakes them for a couple, they don't say anything. (Allie even likes it a little.)

It's a blue Camry. Harry complains that it makes him feel like a _real, proper adult _, and Allie tells him that her sister drives this car.

"Ooh, the famed Cassandra Pressman. You're making me feel better already."

Allie laughs. "She's the most adult person I know; has really got her life together."

Harry still drives the Camry. His sister texts him while they're on the road, and Harry makes Allie promise not to tell her about the car.

"She'd never let me hear the end of it, would say I'm turning into our mom."

Allie sends the girl (her name is Sarah, by the end of the drive, she's got her number) a video of Harry singing along to a Taylor Swift song from 2012. She's singing along too, though she doesn't sound anywhere near as good as he does. (Her fingerprint is in his phone, from when they're testing recipes and his hands have food on them and hers don't and she needs to get into it. She knows his passcode, too, his birthday. She doesn't think about what this means.)

And she's happy, so incredibly happy. If this was it for her, Harry Bingham and drives home, she wouldn't mind it. She wouldn't mind it at all. (She doesn't think too long about that, either.)

* * *

"I swear to god Harry if you complain about my music one more time…"

"You suck at DJ-ing!"

"Let me drive then!"

"I bet you suck at driving too."

She rolls her eyes, and he laughs. "Fuck you. I'm an amazing driver. Passed the test and everything."

Harry's eyebrows furrow together. "Don't you need to pass the test _to _drive; isn't that the whole point of the test?"

"I mean, I guess."

"I don't trust you to drive."

Allie thinks for a second about just grabbing the wheel before imagining everything that could go wrong with that. They didn't get rental insurance which means they're fucked if anything happens to the car. Maybe she shouldn't drive.

There's quiet for a second. Maggie Rogers can be heard in the background, faded and slow. Harry's tapping his fingers along to it on the wheel, eyes staring straight ahead. The road is lined with trees, and it all feels like home.

"You'll drop me off at my house, yeah?"

"Nah, thought you could walk."

Allie rolls her eyes. It's weird imagining Harry seeing the place she grew up, even briefly. She wonders if he'll look out of place, or (quite possibly worse) if he'll look like he'd always been there, like he belonged.

* * *

Cassandra isn't home for Thanksgiving. Allie's almost thankful for that. It's one thing for her parents to meet Harry. They can meet him in passing; she can introduce him as a friend (she won't include 'from work' as a preface. They're beyond that now), and maybe everyone will talk for a second before Harry insists that he just _has to get going _and then everyone can say goodbye, and it'll be over just as quickly as it began.

If Cassandra was there, though, Allie worries she'd see right through whatever facade they put up. She'd notice how close they were, and probably wonder why Allie hadn't told her about them sooner (because she was scared of how serious it sounded, introducing someone who's maybe almost your boyfriend to your family as such). She'd see through everything, tell them things that they don't even want to know. That's what Cassandra does, she takes charge of the situation and decides what's best for everyone involved. (And she's still Allie's best friend, her closest confidant. It'll feel wrong to show her Harry when he's the one person she's ever really kept away from Cassandra.)

* * *

"You don't have to get out of the car," Allie says as they pull into her neighborhood. The music off now, so he can hear her directions. It's a little confusing, the suburbs; the streets all look the same.

"I can't just drop you off."

"Yes you can."

"I'm walking you to the front door, at least. Best case scenario, I eat pumpkin pie with your mom and she shows me baby pictures."

"That is not happening, Harry."

He pulls into her driveway. Her mom must see the car, because just as they step out, the front doors wide open, and her mom's face is peaking out.

"Allie!" she shouts, and Allie grins. Harry's right beside her. "And who's this?"

And now her mom is right in front of her and Harry, right in front of the blue Camry. "Harry Bingham," he introduces, holding his hand out for her to shake.

"Nice to meet you, Harry."

"Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Pressman."

"Oh, call me Beth," she says, waving him off. They're all walking toward the house now. Harry looks way too smug. "Allie, you didn't tell me you were bringing someone."

"Harry's not staying. He's just dropping me off on his way to his _own _family." Allie makes a point to make a face over at Harry. He just grins back, all wide and bright (just like usual).

"Well I've got a little while before I have to be over here. Traffic was good; we're a little ahead of schedule."

Her mom smiles at him. They're at the door now. She ushers them both inside. "That was very nice of you take Allie all the way from New York. Do you want a drink, or something else, before you have to hit the road again?"

"Water would be great, Mrs. Pressman." They're in the front hallway. Harry points at a photo of Allie and Cassandra, circa age seven. "Is that you, Allie?"

She makes a face at him. It's very obviously her. He grins back. "Yep," she deadpans.

"You were cute."

"I peaked at seven."

He shakes his head. He's moved closer to her, shoulders brushing as his eyes flick between the pictures on the wall. "Nah, I wouldn't say that."

And now her mom is beaming, somehow back from the kitchen with a full glass of water. She hands the thing to him and pulls a photo album seemingly out of thin air.

"Do you want to see baby pictures of Allie? Her dad went through a little bit of a photography phase when she was little, so we have tons."

Allie lets out a loud groan. Her mom looks at her, confused, and Harry stiffles a laugh.

He leaves over thirty minutes later with a new contact photo for Allie and a slice of apple pie (her mom literally cut the pie early for him. When did this become her life?)

* * *

"Well he seemed like a nice boy."

"He is, mom."

"And you're _just friends _." She sounds a little like she doesn't believe Allie.

"Yeah, just friends."

"Okay."

In less than two hours, Harry will call her. He'll tell her that he got to his family's house and that her mom's apple pie was _absolutely delicious _. Allie will ask him _why the fuck he ate it so early _, and he'll tell her he was hungry. He keeps silverware in his bags (they're plastic and from all the takeout he orders), she already knows that. When she learned that she doesn't know, though. All the sudden, he was just there, and everything that came with him she knew.

Her mom watches her talk on the phone with Harry from the door. When Allie hangs up (twenty minutes later (Harry wanted an excuse to avoid his family, and Allie wanted to talk to him), her mom smiles at her, all soft and knowing. Allie turns a light pink and asks if she needs any help in the kitchen.

* * *

They drive home together, too, the backseat filled with tupperware containers that Harry insisted on buckling in.

"Sarah saw the car." The music is turned down low. Allie keeps looking to the back seat to make sure none of the food has toppled over. The seatbelts do very little.

"How did you expect her to not see it? It was literally going to be parked in your driveway."

"Blind faith in all things good in the world."

Allie lets out a little snort. Harry grins at the road. After a moment, Allie says, "My mom wrote down her apple pie recipe. I know we can't make it for a video, but I was thinking about doing a 'how to make pie' series. Does that sound good?"

He nods (bright and happy and loud. Somehow, everything he does is bright and happy and loud). "Sounds amazing."

She smiles at the road. The sun sets early now, at five o'clock. It's already dark outside. "My mom really liked you."

He beams. "I liked her too." He pauses as he makes a turn. A passing car's headlights shine against them. Allie can't help but stare at him. "My sister likes you, probably more than she likes me."

"What can I say, I've got a talent for making Bingham's like me."

"I guess you do, Pressman."

It only takes them an hour to get home, to somehow stuff all of the tupperware containers into Harry's fridge and settle onto the couch to watch and old Disney movie that Harry's paying $6.99 a month for.

* * *

**HarryBingham posted a picture**

**HarryBingham** _very thankful for a lot of things this year, but especially for these pictures of , and the best apple pie i've ever had_

Comments:

** : **tb to when i was cute

**HarryBingham:** shut up, you're always cute

**grizzzzzzzviser:** What happened to my apple pie being the best!? A BA's Best title isn't just given to anyone, Harry. You told me it was "perfect". I feel lied to.

**HarryBingham:** sorry dude

**KellyAldrich-Gelb:** Glad to see you still keep plastic forks in your bag. Things really don't change.

** :** he's added spoons and knives to his collection. what's next?

* * *

**Grizz Makes Kombucha | It's Alive | Bon Appetit**

_Bon Appetit • 4.5M view • 6 days ago_

Grizz spends the first thirty seconds of the video staring at a bottle of store bought kombucha. While he is doing this, Harry and Allie walk into the shot. They're a little out of focus, and making their way down the kitchen. Harry keeps bumping into Allie's shoulder, and Allie's leaning a little towards him.

The camera zooms in on them in the background. They're standing near the door now; Harry's holding Allie's coat out to her, and she's pushing the door open. She turns around to face him and throws her head back laughing.

The camera pans back to Grizz. He rolls his eyes. "There they go, off to lunch again. They never bring me anything back."


	4. Chapter 4

_Would like to think that you would stick around_

* * *

Allie still thinks it's a little strange that she's technically internet famous. She has nearly a million followers on Instagram. Nearly a million people care enough to want to see her posts. What the fuck.

It's mostly just pictures of her making food, or the food itself because said food looks very tasty and she wants to remind people that she went to and paid money for culinary school. Harry's Instagram is actually properly artsy. He has a fucking aesthetic that's he's trying to maintain. He includes all these pictures he takes on fancy cameras and edits on fancy programs that he paid real money for. He's also the only person who she has post notifications on for (he turned them on himself and she doesn't have the heart to switch it off).

Six months in to working at Bon Appetit she starts posting these really long home cooking videos to her Instagram stories because she thinks the idea of someone tapping really fast through them is funny. Also, Jenna Fisher does them sometimes and a whole lot of Allie's personality is based entirely off of Pam from The Office . By the holdiays, Allie's ultra long stories are practically weekly. They're fun, and light, and make her happy. It's a whole lot less organised than at work; she's allowed to do exactly what she wants, and she doesn't have to pause for the perfect shot. Everything's happening in real time.

She films the stories mostly in Harry's kitchen because he (they? She spent an hour on Sunday cleaning that fucking white tile backsplash that Harry got spaghetti sauce on) keeps it insanely clean, and he has a little cabinet that she can put her phone up in to film (not at all because she's spending an insane amount of time at his place. It's the cabinet, all the cabinet).

During a long, snowed in weekend (no work for either of them today. They coordinate their days off), Allie decides to make cherry pie, the perfect cherry pie, the pie her mom makes during the summer, the pie Allie grew up eating. It's crust is pretty much all butter, and she's pretty sure the cherries her mom used were mostly just the syrup they were preserved in, but it's also Allie's most favorite thing ever and Harry cannot ruin that for her no matter how hard he tries.

She doesn't rewatch the videos before posting it onto her story, but even she knows that in the background of the first one, Harry's voice can be heard yelling, "Canned cherries are cheating," because not only is he that asshole, but she is also in his kitchen in his apartment about to sit on his couch to watch The Great British Baking Show.

She also knows that she rolled her eyes at the camera and yelled back, "It's December, Harry! Cherries are not in season!" She knows that she's wearing a Harvard t-shirt that's too big for her, and her hair's up in a messy bun. She knows that if people put everything together, it'll be obvious that she spent the night at Harry's. She knows that she doesn't really care.

* * *

A week later, a kitchen tour Harry filmed with the NY Times comes out (the current raking for food based Youtube channels from major publications is Bon Appetit way up high and then the NY Times and then Buzzfeed , so Allie and Harry have a little bit of respect for the NY Times ). People recognise the tile backsplash and the two toasters from Allie's stories. There's a picture of them together on the fridge that can be seen for a split second (people still find it), and a shot of the kitchen barstools reveals a hoodie that looks very similar to one Allie was just wearing in an entirely unnecessary and way too long series of Instagram stories of her making brownies. The hoodie says Harvard on it and is pilling and may or may not have been the only thing she was wearing in that series of stories, not that anyone needs to know that.

In the video, Harry prefaces opening the fridge with a warning. "My," he pauses. It's a very long pause. Allie watches the video with him when it comes out and laughs so hard at that part that it comes out a little like a snort. "...roommate is also a chef, so the fridge is always full and usually a mess."

There are two thousand comments on the video, most referencing, in some way, the word 'roommate'.

Neither of them care. Allie continues to wear various pieces of Harvard apparel. She starts a series on her Instagram story that's just her making bread while Harry randomly interjects with sarcastic comments. Harry still posts too many pictures of her on his Instagram. People notice, people comment, people talk. Harry and Allie don't care.

* * *

**Harry and Allie Make Candy Canes: "You burned the sugar!" | Bon Appetit**

Bon Appetit • 2.5M view • 3 days ago

Allie stares at the camera. Harry is tying her apron strings for her. She makes a face.

"I can't believe you convinced me to do this."

Harry grins. "A Christmas miracle!"

She turns to him. "This is a one time thing, Bingham. After this, never working with you again."

Harry rolls his eyes. In the background, Helena is smiling at them. The camera zooms in on her for just a moment before returning focus to Harry and Allie. "You say that every time, Pressman, and yet here you are."

She ignores him. "Did they teach you how to make candy canes at that fancy university of yours?" Allie asks, obviously baiting him.

He takes the bait and runs with it. "Oh you mean Harvard? No they did not, I was too busy being an English Major."

Allie's eyes widen. She looks a little offended. The camera zooms in on her. "I get paid the same amount as him."

Harry's face returns to a grin. "Ha."

The camera pans down just a little to show a shot of the various ingredients strewn across the counter (neither Harry nor Allie are one for neatness). In the foreground, Harry can been seen pushing a bit of Allie's hair behind her ears. She can be seen smiling at him for just a second too long. She whispers something in his ear and he laughs, and that's how the video starts.

* * *

It's December 24th (Christmas Eve!) and it won't stop snowing. She's not sure she's ever even seen this much snow. It's coming down hard and fast and she can't stop staring at it's reflection in the streetlight across the street.

"I think you're stuck here, Pressman," he tells her, slipping behind and following her gaze. His arms slip around her waist. Allie leans against him. He is very warm. She's cold. It feels right.

There's a moment where they both watch the snow fall before she turns around and makes a face at him. "I can't believe I'm trapped here with you." Her words are playful because, believe it or not, she actually kind of likes the idea of them being trapped in his really nice apartment while it snows, and he smiles so wide and so bright.

"There are girls out there who would kill to be trapped here with me."

She laughs and pulls him with her to sit on the couch. "Those girls are stupid." Fuck, she's one of those girls.

Harry makes a face at her, and she's smiling so hard it sorta hurts.

Allie thinks she can hear the snow falling outside. Harry pulls a fuzzy blanket over them, the one from her apartment that's lived at his place for months now. His head is on her shoulder. The only light in the room comes from a lamp in the corner.

"You wanna finish The Great British Baking Show?" he asks her softly. He's already moving to grab his TV remote. She nods from beside him.

It started nearly a year ago and now she has his Netflix password. They share an HBO account too. They binge TV shows on his couch, the blue one that's new. She helped him pick it out. She told herself that that was a normal thing, that that's what friends do. (He didn't even invite her, though, not properly. She was just there, along for the ride. It was never a question whether or not she would shop with him. In quiet moments, when she doesn't think about the stupid blue couch, it almost feels like it's just as much hers as it is his. That scares her a little now.)

It's snowing and they're cuddled under a fuzzy blanket on his (fuck, their?) couch watching The Great British Baking Show . It's Christmas Eve and she's having a hard time imagining a better way to spend it.

When the episode they're on, the season finale, ends, Harry slips out from under the blanket, laughing when Allie attempts to pull him back to her. It's cold outside, alright; that's why she does it.

"Stay," she whines, reaching towards him.

"I'm grabbing your present, Pressman." He's still laughing as he gestures towards the clock on the microwave that reads 12:01. "It's Christmas."

There's a Christmas tree in the corner that the two of them picked out at Target, a fake one because the real ones are too expensive. Allie sits up a little straighter on the couch so she can watch him grab the gift.

"Grab yours too," she tells him. They're both wrapped in the silver wrapping paper Allie bought at some fancy bodega down the block. She had spent half an hour wrapping his so it would be just right. She had gotten a papercut.

He moves back to her, a gift in both hands. He hands her hers likes it's some delicate thing. And tells her not to shake it. It makes her really want to shake it.

"You can shake yours," she says and he laughs again and, fuck, when did she start liking his laugh so much?

While she peels back the wrapping paper around her present, she can feel Harry's eyes on her. She moves closer to him, close enough that they're touching, close enough that his hand moves under the blanket to rest on her leg.

She never knows how to react to gifts. When they were little, Cassandra used to plan reactions, reactions that would make her parents smile. Allie thought that was stupid, thought it was just another way for Cassandra to remind their parents why she was the favorite. When she opens the box to reveal chocolate macarons that Harry informs her are from her favorite bakery on Broadway, the too expensive on that she saves for special occasions, she smiles so wide it hurts. She doesn't fake a reaction.

(For a half a second, she thinks she loves him. She pushes that away and watches him throw wrapping paper behind him dramatically. She pushes it away and she smiles and she laughs and she tries not to think too hard about what all of this means.)

They'd agreed on small gifts (because they're both just a little broke) so she'd bought him a Harvard fuzzy blanket. It's red and gold and carries the insignia in the middle. It's soft, arguably softer than the one lying on top of them, and she could imagine it on his couch as soon as she saw it.

When he kisses her, she bets she tastes like chocolate. They're not even an hour into the day, but she already thinks this might be one of her favorite Christmas' ever.

* * *

** posted a picture**

thnx for the macarons HarryBingham. hope u liked the blanket.

Comments:

**HarryBingham:** merry christmas pressman

**elletomkins:** ooh save one for me

** :** in ur dreams elletomkins

** HarryBingham:** elletomkins she wouldnt even let me have one

* * *

When the street are cleared enough for them to get out, Harry walks her to her apartment like the wannabe gentleman he is. (She's kidding. Harry might be perfect.) They wear gloves and hold hands and sip coffee he made when it still felt too early. He makes his coffee strong and uses some fancy machine that his mom got him. Allie still doesn't know how to use it. The last time she tried, she somehow burned something. Harry thinks it's hilarious. Allie thinks that he uses the stupid thing so often just to mess with her.

Outside, it's flurrying. Snow is catching in Harry's hair. For once, she's the one who moves to take a picture. She accidentally takes twenty pictures of stupid good looking Harry Bingham with snowflakes in his hair. He does not deserve to be this cute.

"My ears are cold," he complains. She snorts. They're swinging their clasped hands between them. A few minutes ago, Allie had almost slipped on a patch of ice. Harry had kept her upright. She had joked that he'd saved her life and he had told her that he always would. She'd made another stupid joke, this time about a dragon, and he'd still laughed.

"Your fault for not wearing a hat," she shoots back. He makes a face at her. Fuck, how is he so cute? It's really not fair. At least she's smarter than him. There is a hat on her head. Her ears aren't cold.

On her stoop, Harry presses his way too cold lips to hers. They're not chapped because she's been forcing him to use carmex. It's been so long now that he doesn't even comment when his lips start to tingle, he just makes a stupid face. She has way too many pictures of that too.

"You wanna come inside?" she asks even though she really shouldn't. They're spending too much time together. She's growing dependent.

He grins at her and suddenly she knows why she asked. Fuck, the things she would do for that grin. (That sounds wrong. Allie's just trying to say that when Harry grins it makes her really happy, okay? Please do not read into that.) "Sure."

* * *

**Harry Makes Chicken Noodle Soup | From the Test Kitchen | Bon Appetit**

Bon Appetit • 1.3M view • 2 days ago

"Last week Allie had a really bad cold so I made her this soup and, get this, she was better within the hour," Harry tells the camera.

Allie scoffs. The camera moves to zoom in on her. Harry turns around to make a face at her. "I was not better within the hour and that soup did nothing for my cold."

Harry turns back toward the camera. He motions for it to focus on him again. "Ignore her. She's obviously still a bit delusional from that cold. The only reason she survived was because of the soup. It's magic soup."

Allie snorts from somewhere in the background. She can only barely be seen in the shot. "Why do I even bother trying with you, Harry?"

Harry grins. "You know you love me, Pressman."

The camera pans back to her. She's smiling.

Later, after the soup is finished and Harry is shouting for taste testers, Allie makes her way over. Harry feeds it to her and Helena can be seen rolling her eyes at them.

**Noodle Doodle** 6 hours ago

oH my GoD just imagine allie being sick and harry coming over and making her soup and feeding it to her and i really cant handle these two

**View 5 replies v**

**StreamRare1/10** 4 hours ago

Helena is all of us

**View 1 reply v**

**finalzweek** 9 hours ago

why tf did harry feel the need to spoon feed allie soup on camera? i feel like i just witnessed something very private

* * *

When Cassandra calls all the way from wherever the fuck in Europe she is right now negotiating whatever the fuck type of contract she's negotiating, the last thing Allie expects to hear is Harry Binghams name.

Cass, however, as always, is full of surprises.

"When were you going to tell me you were dating someone?" Cassandra asks with all her usual light teasing. Allie doesn't care much for math, but she can't imagine it's a fun time to be awake in Europe right now. That's probably why her sister is asking about a non existent relationship.

"What are you talking about?" Just for fun, Allie adds in a bit of an awkward laugh right at the end.

"Your coworker at Bon Appetit ? Harry something?" Allie's near certain that Cass knows his last name already. She's trying to sound casual. Fuck, is this important?

Allie really does not want this to be important. That's probably why she laughs again. "Harry?" she repeats as casually as she can trying very hard not to think about last night at his apartment. she left her favorite pair of fuzzy socks there last week and went to get them back. She got a little off topic. She didn't end up back at her apartment. She forgot the fuzzy socks. "We're just friends." Who are also fucking. Should she mention that or should she leave the emphasis on the 'just friends' bit. They are just friends. Allie wants that to be crystal clear.

(Sometimes she's afraid that Harry thinks they're more than that. Sometimes she's afraid she does too. When those 'sometimes' happen, she worries about ruining everything. They have a really good thing going.)

Cassandra laughs at the 'just friends'. "Well the internet thinks you're dating."

Allie snorts. "So you fell down that rabbit hole?" Because of course that's why her sister is calling at some ungodly European hour. She thought that Allie was in a relationship and was upset that she wasn't the first to know. She thought the internet knew before her.

Cassandra's gaze softens and that scares the shit out of Allie. "Do you like him?"

"He's my best friend." That's Allie's go to answer in situations like this. She loves whipping out the best friend card.

Cassandra scoffs. "You can date your best friend."

This all sounds like some argument Harry would make when it's a little too late and Allies a little too tired to work out specifics. Sure, you can date your best friend, but let's say in this hypothetical you break up and suddenly you've lost a best friend— oh, and wait, there's more, you also work with this person so now you have to quit your job and start working at Buzzfeed , potentially move across the country to LA, a sunny hell hole with lack of seasons. Or, you can keep things casual and try very hard to stay away from (or at least attempt to ignore) any feelings that inevitably pop up and when everything goes sour, you just fall back onto that whole 'best fiends' thing and keep your job and gain a funny anecdote that goes something like 'Hey, remember when we used to fuck. Yeah, that really was a crazy time.'

"We're not dating, Cass." Allie tries her hardest to emulate her sisters stern but kind and also knowing tone. Allie likes to describe it as 'kind know it all'. Harry uses it sometimes when talking about books. Fucking english major.

"Are you having sex with him." Of course her sister tries to keep things formal. Sex. Just say 'fucking', Cass. It's not that bad. It'll actually save you words.

Also, Allie does not want to answer that question. So she remains silent. That's probably a mistake. Oops.

"Oh my god, you're in a friends with benefits situation with your coworker." Cassandra thinks this shocking. She also finds it humorous (Allie was thinking about a certain english major and now she's in the mood to use big words). She keeps shaking her head in what Allie can only assume is disbelief. "Do you really think this is going to end well?"

Allie remains silent. It's been nearly ten months. At this point, maybe they should just round up to a year. Friends with benefits sounds too casual for whatever the fuck they're doing which is ironic because the whole point of them is to keep things casual (while also not seeing other people. Fuck, is Allie in a relationship?).

Cassandra lets out a sort of breathy, disbelieving laugh. She shakes her head some more. "Well, happy belated holidays, Al. Hope we can talk some more soon. And that you figure whatever the fuck you're doing with Harry out. I just… I don't want you to get hurt, that's all." Fuck, she may or may not be in a relationship with Harry. This is not the time for her sister to be telling Allie to be careful. Sex. All they do is have sex. No feelings involved. None whatsoever. Yes, that is their relationship.

Fuck, even Allie doesn't believe that.

(She spends most of her time at his place. but that's only because it's bigger and closer to work and she has a whole half of his closet and buys groceries and records stuff on the DVR and shit, is she living with him too?

She is not in the proper head space to be thinking about this. She might be living with him. Oh my god. How can she twist this? Are they roommates? Yes. They are roommates, roommates who have sex sometimes and are best friends but also not in a relationship. Does that make sense to anyone?)

Allie sighs rather loudly and chooses to verbally ignore everything Cass just told her. "I miss you."

"I miss you too."

* * *

If there's one person in the world who would know the answer to whether or not Allie was living with Harry Bingham (she's not even going to think about the idea of a relationship), it'd be Elle. (And also Harry, but Allie already thinks she knows his answer. His answer scares her.)

"Am I living with Harry?" Yep. There she goes, jumping in with the big questions. God, she's good at this.

"Yes." Elle says. She's sitting on the couch and has a book in her hand. She doesn't even look up from it even though she should seeing as this is sort of a revelation. This is a big moment.

"You're also dating him," Elle adds casually which makes no sense because how the fuck can Elle be causal at a time like this? How can Elle hit her with that? Could she really not tell Allie was very much trying to avoid that topic.

"Elle," Allie begins as calmly as she can. Cassandra once told her that she could be a politician if she wanted to. Looking back, Allie's pretty sure that Cass was joking, but it's really the idea that matters. "We've talked about this. Harry and I are not dating."

Elle rolls her eyes. "Oh, yeah, you two are just friends who fuck and are also living together which you should probably talk to him about since our lease is up in a month and I really don't think it'd be a good decision for you financially to be paying for an apartment you don't live in. I mean, I'll miss you, but we can meet up for dinner every week, and—"

"We're just friends." Oh my god, Elle is really talking about her moving in with Harry. Elle is saying that they're living together which Allie is only just beginning to accept (and only barely) and now she's moving straight to moving in together. Do best friends who also have sex live together often? Is this a thing she can Google?

Elle sighs. "You can't just ignore feelings until they go away, Allie, and you can't just go around keeping everything the same just because it worked for a little while." Fuck, Elle really just said that. Allie feels very seen. Does she really go around ignoring feelings? How long can she do this with Harry before everything self destructs on it's own? Would that be better than actually trying?

"I'm going to ruin everything," Allie says softly.

Elle shakes her head. "No you're not."

Allie thinks about how her room is nearly empty, how her closet is sparse, and her bathroom cabinet contains only a lone bar of soap left from the previous tenant, which is actually sort of weird and she should probably throw it away just for safety reasons. She knows immediately where all of her stuff is. Her favorite fuzzy blanket sits on Harry's couch, two of her pillows are on Harry's bed because he didn't have enough before, her wardrobe takes up half of Harry's closet (the right half. the closet door opens funny sometimes, and her arms aren't long enough to reach the stuff on the left. Harry always complains about 'the sacrifices he's made' whenever he has to grab a coat from the far left end of the closet, and she always laughs at him), and her toiletries sit atop Harry's bathroom counter. Her vinyl collection is mixed with his now, along with her library. She lives with him.

Somewhere along the way, they moved in together. She wonders if she's the last one to realize it.

* * *

It's Monday, which means the day already sort of sucks.

But then she can't get the chocolate to temper and Harry's not even there to fix it for her so she has a mini mental breakdown on camera which is never fun. And then, she has no one to eat lunch with since Harry is off work today (they're getting dinner later, though. It's his turn to pay; she paid for italian last week) and Helena and Bean are off in Europe for a video and Will isn't really talking to her after he asked her out and she said no.

Grizz is still there, though, and she loves Grizz. Grizz asks her if she wants to eat with him, and getting to eat lunch with Grizz maybe might make up for the fact that her day is going very shitty-ly.

Like the real chefs they are, they both pull their leftovers out of the microwave at the same time.

For a little while, they talk about Grizz's relationship with Sam, her cousin. Grizz tells her he's thinking about proposing soon. She thinks that's the cutest thing ever, a properly defined relationship.

"So, you doing good Allie? I saw a bit of the shoot."

She makes a face. "I fucking hate chocolate now, which sucks because it's chocolate." It's true. Yesterday, in the grocery store, she saw a bar of the baking chocolate Bon Appetit uses and turned around and did not get the nutmeg that she needed for the pie recipe she was developing. She made Harry go back for it.

Grizz smiles at her. "And Harry's not even here to help out. They better not put 'Pastry Chefs' in the title again." Both of them laugh. "Has he decided on the NY Times offer yet?"

Allie stares at him. What the fuck is Grizz talking about. She's pretty sure her eyes widen almost comically. Did Harry get a job offer at the NY Times? They decided that was second rate compared to Bon Appetit. They made a fucking ranking.

Allie calms herself down. She takes a deep breath and composed herself. Cassandra Pressman is her sister. and Cassandra Pressman is quite possibly the most composed person Allie knows. "I don't think so." Her voice is too breathy.

Grizz nods. Allie swallows. There's a pause.

"I think I should go back to work on the whole tempering thing," Allie says too quickly for her not to sound nervous. "But we should eat lunch together more often, Grizz."

She does not get back to tempering that stupid chocolate. Instead, she goes into the bathroom and cries for fifteen minutes. Later, when Harry asks about her day, she does not mention that portion.

* * *

Allie decides to be subtle when bringing up the whole job offer subject. She doesn't even care that he didn't tell her Nope, not at all. She cried because she was overwhelmed with work and not because there's a very big possibility that Harry's going to leave Bon Appetit. (If Harry leaves, she worries that that's it for them, that that's the thing that pulls them apart. She's not ready for it to be over yet.)

It's seven o'clock and a bit dark out and they're walking to this pizza place on Broadway where they'll get a whole pie and eat the leftovers for lunch the next day. When she looks over at him, at stupid good looking Harry who always seems to know when she's staring and always seems to stare back, she just can't help it. She tries to say something.

"So let's say someone is sorta in a relationship with someone else and then they get a job offer. Do they tell the other person or do they not." Fuck, that doesn't make any sense. She's simultaneously being too vague and too specific. She's screwed.

Harry stares at her like he knows exactly what's going on. He probably does know what's going on; it'd take an idiot not to know.

"Allie, what are you talking about?"

She bites her lip hard enough that she's worried she might've drawn blood. "I just… Grizz mentioned a job offer from the Times and I was just…"

Harry lets out a half laugh. "That's nothing."

"You could've told me," she replies softly. She's looking up at him.

"We're not in a relationship," Harry says. It sounds like a question. That makes Allie nervous.

So, she pulls out the 'best friend' card. She really needs to figure out a new thing to say in these situations. "You're my best friend." Yep, there it is. "That means something."

Harry blinks at her. He swallows. He pauses. "You're my best friend too." But, fuck, he doesn't sound right. He's not bright or loud or happy. That scares her.

They don't talk about a job offer at a competing publications food based YouTube channel once because that is what two people in a healthy not-relationship do.

* * *

At dinner, an older woman tells them they're a cute couple. Harry looks to Allie before saying thanks. Allie doesn't say anything because it took her way a solid two months to even stop laughing when people called them a cute couple. Harry used to laugh with her. Now, she thinks that she might have struck a nerve with Harry by not responding. That scares her a little more than she'd care to admit.

And now they're walking back from dinner and it's raining and she's not talking and Harry's not talking either. Normally, them and silence is fine, only this silence feels wrong. It feels like they're avoiding something (which they are).

And also, Allie's a little pissed because, what the fuck. He's her best friend (there she goes again with that classification as justification for these horrible things she's feeling) and also possibly her roommate so maybe he should have told her about this at least before Grizz. Oh my god, what if he told Will before her too. That'd be horrible.

So she can't help it, she talks about it even though literally everything in her is telling her not to.

"Were you ever going to tell me about the Times offer?" she asks him. They're standing on her stoop. He's putting her key in the lock, about to turn it. It sticks sometimes.

"It's just a job offer, Allie." He sounds tired. She's tired. She is so tired. She can't wait to step inside her apartment, to go into her room which doesn't even feel like her room anymore, and sleep for a million years. She wishes she could get away with inviting him inside. She wishes she could fall asleep next to him.

"But you couldn't even tell me about it?" Who the fuck does he think she is? She's spent the last year right next to him. She has a right to know about shit like this. It's not just a job offer, and he doesn't get to pretend that it's nothing. And, oh my god she's getting really into this and really upset and this is not good.

"Since when were we so close that I'd need to tell you about a fucking job offer, Allie. Last time I checked, you were real big on that 'just friends' shit." He's looking at her, lips parted, eyes almost narrowed.

"You're my best friend, Harry." Yep, there's that again. Twice in one night.

"Oh don't pull that shit, Pressman." He's upset with her. They're fighting. They're actually fighting a real fight with real consequences. This is different than little arguments they'll get in over not replacing a toilet paper roll or turning the heat up too high. This is real.

So she fights back. "What the fuck does that even mean?" What the fuck are they if they're not best friends? They've established this. They talked about this, about not ruining everything. Right now, it feels a little like they're ruining everything.

"You don't get to go around telling everyone that we're nothing and then come to me pretending we matter." They're not nothing. They've never been nothing. Harry's— fuck, she was about to say best friend again.

"Harry, that's not-"

"We're just friends, Allie. You said it yourself. Why try to make this bigger than it already is. It doesn't matter if it's starting to feel way more personal than just…" They're in a relationship. Elle was right. They're dating and have been dating for months, maybe a year, and this is all her fault.

He takes a deep breath. She feels herself freeze up, wonders if he'd flinch if she moved towards him. "Sorry for not telling you about the Times ."

He's gone right after that, slipping past her into the rain. It's pouring now. She watches him walk away, watches until he's too far gone to see, and then turns the lock on her door. It sticks for a second. She lets out a shaky laugh. She's not surprised when it turns into a cry.

* * *

Her room's still empty and she's ruined everything.


End file.
